Owing to a transporter accident, Michael Gove is now in a different dimension and cannot hear the EU trying to talk to him, reports have heard.
Michael Gove stated yesterday that the European Union are “refusing to discuss a deal” with the UK government, while the EU claims they’ve been discussing Brexit with the belligerent UK for over two years.
The EU’s chief negotiator, who is currently sat in the same room as Mr Gove, told reporters that “it’s like he can’t hear us. Look…”, before shouting Mr Gove’s name in his ear several times.
Mr Gove shivered slightly, and said “does anyone feel that? Brr, it’s like someone walked over my grave.”
Various aides in the room looked at each other with confused expressions, before calling paramedics, fearing that Mr Gove may have had a stroke.
This then escalated until a psychologist, then a physicist was called. The physicist put forward a theory after communing with Gove for several minutes.
“I believe he is in another dimension, where EU representatives don’t exist.” said Dr Marvin Munroe, head Physicist at WTAF, a research institute in Philadelphia, USA. “I recall a similar situation a few years ago, when a man by the name of Nigel Farage was on a fisheries committee in the European Union, but didn’t turn up for work as he refused to believe it existed.”
Dr Munroe tried an experiment where he spoke to Gove without issue, before claiming that the EU sent him. Gove expressed major surprise as Dr Munroe appeared to disappear before his very eyes.
Mr Gove, running out of the room shouted back “I told you there was a ghost in here!”.