All satire has now been banned by the government, due to it upsetting Saint Nigel, reports confirm.

With Saint Farage of Nigel getting upset at a Year of the Rabbit episode on Channel 4 where a character by the name of Nigel Fromage was assassinated (despite him himself wanting to don khakis and take up arms in real life if Brexit is delayed or cancelled), the government has announced that all satire has been banned as of today.

We don’t care, as our servers are in Germany. Suck it.

“We can’t have our politicians, who aren’t even politicians in the UK, being offended” said government spokesman Gerard Leopardieu, “it’s just not on. So because lefties are violent, and the right wing have never done anything violent ever, we’re banning jokes at the expense of public figures.”

Scalpers are already taking advantage of the situation. Box sets of Spitting Image are being sold in alleyways for over 100x their usual price. Our reporter even had to infiltrate a criminal gang in order to obtain a DVD of Newzoids. Police were even called to a flat in East Sussex last night to find a bootleg copying operation of 2DTV TV rips.

Update: As of this morning, Tracey Ullman has been taken into custody. More as it happens.