Donald Trump’s failure to visit the First World War cemetery in France, was not due to the rain at all, according to the White House. It was even more pathetic.
The White House told a press conference earlier, “The President was not worried about a little rain, that would be ridiculous. No, he was worried about being stuck in a traffic jam. I hope this clears everything up for y’all.”
Our reporter spoke to a Trump supporter wearing a wife beater vest who wished to remain anonymous. “We all know the sacrifices these guys went through to give us our freedom today. But it’s nothing compared to being stuck behind a Nissan Micra for 20 minutes. Nothing! I mean, what an eyesore! Ugh, it’s worse than being waterboarded.”
The President has announced that while he is pretty much the only Western leader who did not attend, he’s also the only Western leader with over 4,000 nukes so everyone should stop spreading fake news.